Fred Nelson

Co-Founder/Co-editor in Chief

Fred Nelson is a super cool guy with a fast car and a lot of friends.

Articles by Fred Nelson

• Financial Genius: This Man Saved $645,000 By Not Getting That Lump Checked Out

• Trump Downplays Dinner With Fuentes and Kanye: “We Didn’t Even Get To Have Dessert”

• Debt Forgiveness? This Landlord Forgave The Deposit He Owes You

• Man Believes In Bigfoot But Not Female Orgasm

• Responsible Friend Only Does Other People's Cocaine

• Biden Releases Heartfelt Statement In Response To Queen Victoria's Death

• OPINION: Skipping Your Child Support Payments Is The New Punk Rock

• Trojan To Release New Family-Sized Box of Condoms

• Trump Supporters Burn Their Female Body Inspector T-Shirts In Protest

• Man With Imposter Syndrome Parks In Handicap Parking Spot

• Top Five Cutest Child Stars Of The 90s And The Horrific Ways Each Of Them Died

• Feel Old Yet? Scientists Lower The Predicted Life Expectancy To 58

• Boss Of The Year? This Manager Threw A Farewell Pizza Party For All The Employees He Laid Off

• Guy Who Disagrees With You Obviously Hasn't Seen That One South Park Episode

• Tesla Rolls Out New Self-Crashing Feature

• How Come Everyone's Talking About Jan 6 But Not April 18 (My Birthday)

• How To Nail Your Scarface Impression For That Big Job Interview

• "Respect Our Fallen Heroes," Says Man Who Thought Today Was Labor Day Until 20 Minutes Ago

• Man Celebrates Memorial Day By Getting So Drunk He Can't Remember The Night Before

• OPINION: The Only Thing That Can Stop A Bad Guy With A Gun Is A Good Guy With A Gun Sheepishly Standing Outside

• SEX! Now That I've Got Your Attention, Get Your Tickets To Live Sex Shows In Your Area!

• Man Regrets Eating Five Jars Of Mayonnaise For 'Cinco De Mayo'

• BREAKING: My Tailbone

• 5 Famous Quotes That Sound Like Something I Might Say

• HYPOCRITE: This Vegetarian Is Literally Made Of Meat

• Inflatable Plastic Rat Manufacturers Union On Strike

• Phew! This Guy Made Sure To Let Us Know He’s Not Racist

• War On Saint Patrick’s Day? This Cop Gave Me A DUI On My Way To Work

• Send Me Your Social Security Number – And Other Tips For Becoming An Alpha Male

• How This Whole Ukraine Thing Could Really Get You Laid

• Michael Richards Pulls Podcast From Spotify

• This Cologne Makes You Irresistible to Women…and Also Bees

• ‘People Who Get Their Opinions From Joe Rogan Are Stupid,’ Says Man Who Gets His Opinions From Even Dumber Podcast

• Top 5 Reasons Why You’re Exactly Like The Guy From That Movie

• ManFacts Salutes A Fallen Hero

• GENIUS: This Man Said The Thing You Said Back To You In A Funny Voice

• QUESTION: Can Me And My 11 Friends Have A Bump Of Coke?

• Dying Man Insists Joe Rogan Perform Critical Surgery On Him

• Insight? This Group of Teenage Boys Has Figured Out Which ‘Workaholics’ Characters They Would Be

• Centrist Gets 1.5 Vaccine Shots

• Canceled? Nobody Laughed at the Rape Joke I Told in the Break Room Today

• Stereotype True? This Female Duck Can’t Drive for Shit

• HYPOCRITE: AOC Introduces Tax Bill in Room Full of Wealthy Congressmen

• LGBT Icon? This Man Watches Lesbian Porn

• What Elon Musk’s Breakup Means for Dogecoin

• Getting a Divorce and Other Ways I’m Exactly Like Elon Musk

• COMPROMISE: Marjorie Taylor Green to Wear ‘Tax the Poor’ Dress to Next Year’s Met Gala

• 4 Best 9/11 Costumes

• OPINION: We’ll See Who’s Laughing Next Time There’s a Horse Worm Outbreak

• Theater Kid Moves to Washington, D.C. to Pursue Career as Crisis Actor

• Smoking Weed Makes Me Better at Creative Tasks Like Watching TV and Masturbating

• Pornhub to Ban All Sexually Explicit Content from Their Website

• We Went to Afghanistan to Interview Taliban Leaders but Got Distracted by All the Opium

• OPINION: When Trump Said We Were Leaving Afghanistan, He Didn’t Mean It LITERALLY!

• OPINION: If Obama Can Throw a Massive Birthday Party During a Pandemic, How Come Nobody Showed Up to Mine?

• Ted Cruz to Democrats That Fled Texas: ‘If I Wasn’t in Cancun Right Now, I’d Teach You a Thing or Two About Constitutional Duty’

• Snowflake Alert: This Soyboy Vietnam Vet Says He Gets “TRIGGERED” by Loud Noises

• Done with Joe Rogan? Here’s 4 Other Muscular Bald Men to Get All Your News From

• OPINION: How Come There’s No Juneteenth for White People?

• ‘It Just Feels Better’: Man Refuses to Get Vaccine Unless in Suppository Form

• Five Wolf of Wall Street Quotes Guaranteed to Get You Laid

• 4 Hilarious Conservative Comedians That Are All Tim Allen

• 4 STDs That’ll Prove You Had Sex