"We're All Going to Get it Eventually," Says Man With Chlamydia
LAPD’s New Training Video Just VHS Copy Of Lethal Weapon 2
5 Famous Quotes That Sound Like Something I Might Say
Biden Offers A Trade With Russia To Leave Ukraine And Take New Jersey
Inspiring? Your High School Friend Who Dropped Out Of College Just Spent His Savings On An NFT
Conservative Dad Has No Problem Acknowledging Pronouns of Boats and Cars
How I Survived a Bear Attack by Living Far Away From Any Bears
Top 5 Reasons She’s Not Coming Back
5 Feminist Movies to Watch With Your Girlfriend That Are Actually Pretty Hot
1/20/2023 by Caleb Townsend
Israel and Palestine Release Joint Statement Denouncing “Velma”
1/13/2023 by Fred Nelson
Financial Genius: This Man Saved $645,000 By Not Getting That Lump Checked Out
1/9/2023 by Ken Taro Ward
Adult Son Flattered You Think His Mom Can Afford House With A Basement
SAN DIEGO - In a heated debate that took place on Facebook deciding whether a hot dog is a type of sandwich or not, the name-hurling and insults came...
1/6/2023 by Erwin Feinberg
Silver Lining! Andrew Tate Happy That There Are No Women in Jail
It’s been a very difficult past two weeks for fans of the internet’s number one Bugatti driver, Andrew Tate. Last week, Tate posted the absolute most...
1/1/2023 by Brandon Puff
Looking Back: The Best And Worst Moments Of The Year That I Spent Drunk Driving
Life isn’t a journey, it’s a collection of journeys. Some are short, some are long, and some are over before they’re finished. The only thing that ma...
12/25/2022 by Brandon Puff
What To Say When Your Children Ask Why Santa Clause Did Nothing To Prevent 9/11
The holidays are always a strange time for people. Sure, there is joy and cheer and all those fuzzy feelings we love to experience but then the sadne...
12/24/2022 by Brandon Puff
Want To Make Your Christmas A Little More Fun This Year? Try Leaving Some Cocaine Out For Tim Allen On Christmas Eve
Christmas time is almost here which means stuffed stockings and lit fireplaces. But what are we supposed to do if Christmas has become routine? Wha...
12/22/2022 by Brandon Puff
New Study Shows Nearly Sixty Three Percent Of All American Children Now Asking Santa To Bring Them Bulletproof Vests
A new independent study from The Santa Believers Of America (SBA) has determined that nearly sixty-three percent of all children in America are now a...
12/22/2022 by Elyza Halpern
Innovative Cultural Critic Concludes that Die Hard is a Christmas Movie
Redditor and self-proclaimed “evolved intellectual film analyst” u/moviepimpboss8008S, (also known as “USER BLOCKED” in the comments section of any D...
12/20/2022 by Brandon Puff
Insider Report Shows Nearly Fifty Percent Of Remaining Workforce At Twitter Being Used To Optimize Musk's Ego
In the weeks following Musk’s takeover of Twitter, droves of staff members have either quit or been fired. But what of the remaining workforce still ...
12/13/2022 by J.D. Lowe
What They Won't Tell You: Getting A Fuel Injector For Your Truck Makes Its Balls Fall Off
Those damned elitists are lying to you again! I’m going to tell you, right here and right now, what they should have been telling you for years, and ...
12/8/2022 by Jimmy Pitts
Wow, This Thirst Trap’s Political TikTok Has Me Rock Hard For Activism
I don’t like getting political on social media. I prefer using my screen time for keeping in touch with my family, owning the libs, and watching Velm...
12/6/2022 by Caleb Townsend
Opinion: If AI Art Takes Off Then Who Will Buy My BDSM-Themed Ratatouille Drawings?
12/2/2022 by Caleb Townsend
“My Spotify Listening Habits Are None Of Your Business” Says Loser Who Has Awful Taste In Music
Area Man Roger Sprague is standing up against the social pressures of Spotify Wrapped and proudly declaring that "my Spotify listening habits ar...
12/1/2022 by Fred Nelson
Trump Downplays Dinner With Fuentes and Kanye: “We Didn’t Even Get To Have Dessert”
11/29/2022 by Jimmy Pitts
I'd Like to Dedicate My Outrage Regarding Your Return Policy to the Memory of My Father
My dad never taught me how to throw a curveball, drive a stick shift, or speak Pig Latin. Any knowledge I gleaned from him came through observation. ...
11/22/2022 by Elyza Halpern
Soft On Crime? Biden Pardons Turkey
11/21/2022 by J.D. Lowe
So Far, So Good: How I'm Making It Through No NFT November
It’s that time of the year again. Men across the nation are challenged to let their facial hair grow wild, while also slamming out 50,000 words getti...
11/15/2022 by Brandon Puff
Gallagher’s Funeral Comes To A Tearful End As Mourners Watch His Head Get Crushed By Mallet
11/15/2022 by Erwin Feinberg
Making Amends: Kanye Just Watched Don’t Mess with The Zohan