So Far, So Good: How I'm Making It Through No NFT November

11/21/2022 by J.D. Lowe

It’s that time of the year again. Men across the nation are challenged to let their facial hair grow wild, while also slamming out 50,000 words getting in touch with their feelings about wetlands. But it’s also one of the most difficult times, and I wanted to take the time to share with you the three tenets I follow to help make it through this No NFT November.

  1. Removing Temptations — You know how it is. You open up Twitter and you’re bombarded with offers for various apes, snapes, and other japes. And like Ash from Pokémon, you gotta catch ‘em all! But you have to remove that urge. An easy step to do is to just uninstall Twitter. I promise you, those apes will still be available for purchase, and by the time NNN is over, they’ll be even cheaper! Win-win!

  2. Keeping Myself Focused — Think of our hero, the glorious Elon Musk. Do you think he has the time to be the CEO of multiple billion dollar companies while handling multiple lawsuits and responding to various tweets? Of course not! He does it through the willpower of keeping himself focused, and that’s what you can do. Focus on one thing at a time; for example, the news, I hear there’s something going on with FTX? That’s a great thing to read up on!

  3. Having No Money To Begin With — This is both the easiest and hardest step; having no money is as easy as telling your partner you invested everything in BarfCoin. This makes it almost impossible to actually buy NFTs to begin with! Sure, you have to ration things like, well, rations, but you could always sell a kidney to – wait, no, that just starts the loop again, doesn’t it. Hmm.

And that’s it! Follow those three rules, and you’ll make it through No NFT November. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to furiously masturbate, as I can’t spend my time buying NFTs like I want to.