Alpha Mindset
1/9/2023 by Ken Taro Ward
Adult Son Flattered You Think His Mom Can Afford House With A Basement
SAN DIEGO - In a heated debate that took place on Facebook deciding whether a hot dog is a type of sandwich or not, the name-hurling and insults came...
1/6/2023 by Erwin Feinberg
Silver Lining! Andrew Tate Happy That There Are No Women in Jail
It’s been a very difficult past two weeks for fans of the internet’s number one Bugatti driver, Andrew Tate. Last week, Tate posted the absolute most...
12/20/2022 by Brandon Puff
Insider Report Shows Nearly Fifty Percent Of Remaining Workforce At Twitter Being Used To Optimize Musk's Ego
In the weeks following Musk’s takeover of Twitter, droves of staff members have either quit or been fired. But what of the remaining workforce still ...
12/13/2022 by J.D. Lowe
What They Won't Tell You: Getting A Fuel Injector For Your Truck Makes Its Balls Fall Off
Those damned elitists are lying to you again! I’m going to tell you, right here and right now, what they should have been telling you for years, and ...
11/29/2022 by Jimmy Pitts
I'd Like to Dedicate My Outrage Regarding Your Return Policy to the Memory of My Father
My dad never taught me how to throw a curveball, drive a stick shift, or speak Pig Latin. Any knowledge I gleaned from him came through observation. ...
11/21/2022 by J.D. Lowe
So Far, So Good: How I'm Making It Through No NFT November
It’s that time of the year again. Men across the nation are challenged to let their facial hair grow wild, while also slamming out 50,000 words getti...
11/7/2022 by Jimmy Pitts
Twenty Years Ago, I Left for Jupiter to Get More Stupider – Now My Space Colony Could Save Humanity
I can still hear their haunting refrain whenever I gaze at my planet’s 80 moons. We were just five years old. My skin was paper thin, and their voi...
10/31/2022 by Jimmy Pitts
Halloween Costume? Don’t Need One, I’m Already Dressed as the Devil’s Advocate
Good luck rummaging through the dregs of that old Super K-Mart turned Spirit Halloween mega-store. While you’re busy sifting through sultry swashbuck...
9/29/2022 by Brandon Puff
The Secret To Pleasuring Women? Never Interacting With Them
Since the dawn of time, men have sought after women, trying their best to sway them with charm, athletics, status, and power. Well, I’m here today to...
9/29/2022 by Jimmy Pitts
Mispronouncing Beige at a Dinner Party Cost Me Everything
I lost everything. My kids. My career. My commemorative fast food cup collection. I’ve got nothing left. My life is a fiery car crash. And it’s all ...
9/20/2022 by Dave Ruff , Caleb Townsend
Opinion: It's Not Cheating. It's Quiet Dumping
I'm doing a new thing I've heard about on TikTok. No, it's not choking myself with cinnamon, or doxxing my nephew. It's called Quiet ...
9/8/2022 by Brandon Puff
Did I Get Really High Before Writing This Article: Absolutely Not, This Is A Perfectly Normal Article
Hello there reader and welcome to the article that I am writing now while being completely sober and not high even a little. It is an interesting ex...
9/7/2022 by Caleb Townsend
5 Andrew Tate Quotes Guaranteed To Get You Out Of Jury Duty
So, you've got Jury Duty, huh? I've had Jury Duty a few times in my day. Luckily, I've always known how to get out of it. There are speci...
9/2/2022 by Brandon Puff
Are Modern Men More Lonely Than Ever Before? I Mean, This Study Says So But I Feel Perfectly Fine
Are modern men more lonely? According to a recent study, the answer is yes, but if I’m being honest I don’t feel lonely at all. Apparently, the exper...
8/31/2022 by Fred Nelson
OPINION: Skipping Your Child Support Payments Is The New Punk Rock
With all these kids today claiming to be into punk music, I think it's really important we realize what truly defines punk not just as a genre, b...
8/30/2022 by Caleb Townsend
5 Recipes To Use Up All The Relish In Your Fridge
If you're anything like me, you live in a one-bedroom apartment with a mattress directly on the floor and your fridge is almost exclusively fille...
8/25/2022 by Brandon Puff
Slightly Poor Weather Leaves Thousands Of Wimps Stuck Indoors
Weather report! Weather report! Weather report! Guess what? The weather is slightly bad right now so a bunch of noodle bone wimps are stuck inside....
8/23/2022 by Brandon Puff
How To Protect Your Family From Their Greatest Threat: Yourself
There’s nothing more precious to a man than his family. it’s the reason we get up in the morning, it’s the reason we go to work, it’s the reason we d...
8/17/2022 by Brandon Puff
Modern Warrior Receives Viking Funeral After Overdosing On Alpha Brain
OHIO - Earlier this week, a man representing the modern-day image of a warrior king died tragically after overdosing on Alpha Brain. His name was Ale...
8/11/2022 by Brandon Puff
How I Transformed My A Failing Company Into One That Was Completely Bankrupt In Less Than A Year
In just one year, I was able to take a failing business and transform it into one that went completely bankrupt. How did I do it? What’s my secret? W...
7/26/2022 by Elyza Halpern
How To Detox from Social Media by Getting Really Into Cocaine
If your screen time has gotten out of control and you’re looking for an all-natural, plant-based alternative to the doom-scroll dopamine hits, look n...
7/9/2022 by Caleb Townsend
Self Proclaimed ‘Jack Of All Trades’ Is Still Working At The Grocery Store
7/6/2022 by Erwin Feinberg
Top 5 Movies Of All Time and Why All of Them Are Fight Club
It’s summertime dudes, and you know what that means! You are going to the movies to catch some of this year’s best blockbusters. Whether you’re going...
7/5/2022 by Brandon Puff
I’ve Got A Safe Space Alright, It’s At The Bottom Of This Whiskey Bottle
All I ever hear about nowadays is how these sensitive ass kids need a safe space at their colleges and workplaces. Well listen up you little spaghett...
7/1/2022 by Brandon Puff
How Going To A Punk Concert In My Late Thirties Taught Me To Hate My Lame Ass Parents
As you get older, you start looking back on your life and wondering what you could have done differently with the time you were given. When I was you...
6/30/2022 by Fred Nelson
Guy Who Disagrees With You Obviously Hasn't Seen That One South Park Episode
It's happening again. You're in line at the Starbucks and somehow basic small talk with a stranger has, yet again, drifted towards who should...
6/7/2022 by Fred Nelson
How To Nail Your Scarface Impression For That Big Job Interview
It's universally known that confidence is key for landing an offer in any job interview setting. Who's the most confident character and, ther...
5/25/2022 by Brandon Puff
Dude… What If The Entirety Of This Universe Was Contained Within This Single-Article?
Think about it man, the universe is this massively infinite space in which we exist, but what if it was all contained within this article that I’m wr...
5/23/2022 by Brandon Puff
Elon Musk Set To Become First Sex Offender On Mars
Famed entrepreneur and businessman, Elon Musk, is set to continue his legacy of doing the impossible by becoming the first sex offender on Mars. This...
5/17/2022 by Caleb Townsend
5 Alvin And The Chipmunks Songs To Get Her In The Mood
Music is natures aphrodisiac. I heard that once in a Blondie cartoon strip. But it’s true. If you’re trying to get to know a woman “biblically”, ther...
5/4/2022 by Dave Ruff
What’s The Big Deal With The Roe V Wade Vote? Says Man That Will Never EVER Get A Woman Pregnant
Ted Shar, aka LordFeathertone42069, is a 37-year-old white male currently living alone in an apartment eclectically decorated with damp towels and ke...
4/27/2022 by Erwin Feinberg
Elon Musk Buys Twitter, Vowing to Rule it Like a South African Emerald Mine
Well, my fellow free-speech defenders, it finally happened. Twitter has proven to be no match for billionaire and defender of the rights of every man...
4/19/2022 by Brandon Puff
Friendly Man Goes Door To Door To Assure Neighbors He Is Not A Sex Offender
A friendly California man has started going door to door to introduce himself and reassure his neighbors that he is not a registered sex offender. ...
4/13/2022 by Brandon Puff
Hey Sherlock! Here's A Deduction! You're A Nerd Who Doesn't Get Laid
Well, what do we have here? Looks like it's a big nerd with a big brain snooping about for information. There sure is lots to deduce isn’t there?...
4/8/2022 by Brandon Puff
LAPD’s New Training Video Just VHS Copy Of Lethal Weapon 2
An internal investigation into the new training practices of the Los Angeles Police Department has revealed their instructional video is nothing but ...
4/7/2022 by Fred Nelson
5 Famous Quotes That Sound Like Something I Might Say
I've been told by a lot of people that I'm a very powerful speaker, usually after I ask them whether or not I'm a very powerful speaker. ...
4/5/2022 by Caleb Townsend
Local Father Repeats Ketchup Joke, Assured Waitress Will Laugh This Time
Farmville, Va (ManFacts) -- A local father is preparing to repeat a ketchup-related joke to the waitress when she comes back, assured she will laug...
3/30/2022 by Brandon Puff
My Experience Tripping On Shitake Mushrooms In The Forests Of Colorado
In high school, I was always a bit of a bookworm. Just worming around from book to book, avoiding the girls, keeping away from the cool kids. It was ...
3/25/2022 by Andrew K.
Man Who Has Not Run Since Middle School Gym Class, Could End the War In Ukraine ‘With the Right Gear’
GARY, IN -- At the Southlake Mall, 32-year-old Raymond Clarke Jr, was spotted at Asian Promises — a store specializing in the sale of replica East ...
3/24/2022 by Brandon Puff
How Crossing My Legs Eventually Made My Penis Fall Off
Looking at me in the streets, you would have no hint of my secret. You would see a very handsome man, with an incredibly charming smile and the aura ...
3/21/2022 by Brandon Puff
Stop Making Our Youth Weak - Let Babies Sleep Outside
Inside: where weak little babies stay to eat applesauce and crap their pants because they don’t know a damn thing about life. Outside: where we...
3/16/2022 by Brandon Puff
Living Off The Grid: How To Survive With Just A House, An Internet Connection And Modern Utilities
In these modern times, it’s easy to forget our primal roots and the ancient connection we had to the natural world. Long before we clocked in for our...
3/1/2022 by Matt Hyams
ADVICE: Work Hard, Play Hard, Shit Hard
The saying, “work hard, play hard,” was invented for guys like me. I take it one step further. I don’t just work and play hard. I shit hard too. That...
2/23/2022 by Fred Nelson
How This Whole Ukraine Thing Could Really Get You Laid
So, the news is in: Vladimir Putin, the ultimate alpha male, is sending troops into Ukraine. Biden, I’m pretty sure, is responding by going to war wi...
2/21/2022 by Caleb Townsend
5 Chain Restaurants Ranked By How Long It Took For Them To Kick Me Out
America is defined by a few precious principals that set us apart from every other country in the world. We’ve got the most freedom, the deadliest sc...
2/14/2022 by Caleb Townsend
ADVICE: So The Bengals Lost The Superbowl And You Broke Your TV In A Drunken Stupor
Good morning. How do you feel? Your head is probably pounding. Drink some water. Oh, your hand? Yeah, it’s pretty cut up. Oh, you don’t remember, do ...
2/8/2022 by Caleb Townsend , Erwin Feinberg
5 Movies That Are So Good, She Will Fall Asleep
When you have your woman over, and you wanna impress her with your incredible taste, you might think to show her a movie. But which one? There are so...
2/5/2022 by Brandon Puff
A Win For Men? These Scientists Are Painting Hotrod Flames On Sperm Cells
Geneticists at The University Of Texas have stunned the scientific community by going above and beyond with their research and finding a way to add h...
2/4/2022 by Fred Nelson
This Cologne Makes You Irresistible to Women…and Also Bees
1/31/2022 by Fred Nelson
Top 5 Reasons Why You’re Exactly Like The Guy From That Movie
The minute you saw him through the flatscreen in your Freshman dorm, it was immediately clear the two of you were cut from the same cloth. You got th...
1/25/2022 by Justin Avery Smith
Husband Has Identity Crisis After Accidentally Using The ‘Hers’ Towel
In this still-unfolding story, Jordan Thomas asks that you give him and his family some much-needed privacy during this somber time as they try to co...
1/21/2022 by Brandon Puff
Why I Started Stabbing My Drywall Rather Than Just Punching Holes In It
Emotions are confusing, especially for men who are too strong to get in touch with them. While some may tell you to run from your fear, our natural i...
1/20/2022 by Brian Beuche
How To Show A Job That You’re The Ideal Candidate Who Will Do FUCKING ANYTHING To Land The Job
Brian Bueche Job hunting is annoying. You have to find a job you like, you have to make up a whole application, write a cover letter, and if you’r...
1/18/2022 by Caleb Townsend
How To Trick Women Into Sleeping With You By Treating Them With Respect
Respect the pussy and tame the penis! These words aren’t the ravings of a lunatic. No, they’re the mantras that you will need to remember if you want...
1/18/2022 by Justin Avery Smith
Inspired! Man Persuades Wife To Have Second Kid After Their First Won’t Watch Die Hard
Reggie Lewis is receiving much praise after successfully negotiating with his wife Bonnie to bring a new life in this world. With this action, Lewis ...
1/12/2022 by Fred Nelson
GENIUS: This Man Said The Thing You Said Back To You In A Funny Voice
HOLLYWOOD, CA – After a long and heated debate about which taco truck to hit for some late-night drunk munchies, your college friend, James Marco (2...
12/31/2021 by Erwin Feinberg
Scarface Poster Watches Man Have Sex For The Second Time Ever
Scarface. It’s a classic movie, better than any other movie about the Latino experience no matter what Coco says!!! And I’m a white man who watches a...
12/28/2021 by Caleb Townsend
A Guide To Making Sure Your Girlfriend Understands Comedy By Showing Her Episodes Of Cumtown
Being in a relationship is hard. When finding synchronicity with another person, there’s a tendency to want your girlfriend to like everything that y...
12/22/2021 by Brandon Puff
OPINION: Dating a Liberal Is a Bad Idea, Especially When They Have Chainsaws for Arms
The dating world is a strange and dangerous place. It’s even more of a struggle out there when you’re searching for someone who agrees with every opi...
12/21/2021 by Fred Nelson
Insight? This Group of Teenage Boys Has Figured Out Which ‘Workaholics’ Characters They Would Be
DAYTON, OHIO – In such confusing world, figuring out one’s identity can be a truly difficult task. Some people go their whole lives without figuring ...
12/20/2021 by Brandon Puff
How to Talk to Your Coworkers About Sex Without Revealing You’ve Only Had It Once
Sex is a healthy and enjoyable adult experience that should be celebrated and talked about freely. This is especially true for those of us who have b...
12/14/2021 by Brandon Puff
Guide To Drinking: How To Stay Classy Even Though You Just Pissed Your Pants
Having your pants soaked in warm piss doesn’t have to be the end of a fun night, with this sleek and informative guide we’re going to show you how to...
12/6/2021 by Brandon Puff
Five Manly Activities to Enjoy So the Awful Dandies in the London Streets Don’t Imply You Are Nothing More Than Cranberry Flavored Pansy Pie
Hopping About on the Pogo Stick That Dearest Mommy Got You to Show Those Lower Class Ruffians They Could Never Be Your Peers Oh, those jagged toot...
11/29/2021 by Brandon Puff
5 Dwayne Johnson Quotes That Prove He Is An Absolute Warrior King
“People always talk about blood, sweat, and tears when it comes to hard work but it’s time we stopped being afraid of the urine that goes along wit...
11/25/2021 by Brandon Puff
American Testosterone Levels Rise By 300% Following Release Of Kid Rock Music Video
Following the release of Kid Rock’s latest adrenaline injected music video, scientists have measured an increase of testosterone levels across the co...
11/20/2021 by Caleb Townsend , Alaina Bingler
How to Talk About the Rittenhouse Case This Thanksgiving Without Losing Your Buzz
You’re at Thanksgiving dinner with your family and you’re on your 3rd Sam Adams beer in an hour. You’ve already talked to your nephew about how his h...
11/17/2021 by Dave Ruff
How to Deal With Limp Bizkit’s New Album Being Pretty Good
Like many of you reading this, I am a white male who loves Fight Club (the film, obviously). I understand the unfounded white male rage. I’ve broken ...
11/12/2021 by Dave Ruff
How To Motivate Your Parents To Work Harder So They Can Invest In Your Company
The grindset is alive and real here in my crib, and if I’m gonna pop off I’m gonna need a motha-fucking jumping board! My main man, Jeff Bezos got ...
11/5/2021 by Brandon Puff
How I Survived a Bear Attack by Living Far Away From Any Bears
One might not be sure what to do when encountering a beast of the wild. You’ll probably be filled with immense fear and cowardice much like Andy Dick...
11/2/2021 by Brandon Puff
Potential Red Flag? This Woman Has No Interest in Dating Me
When you’re a bachelor on the prowl for some beautiful young women, you’re out there almost every single night playing the dating game. This is where...
10/25/2021 by Fred Nelson
Stereotype True? This Female Duck Can’t Drive for Shit
Many people might call you a sexist for saying that women can’t drive. Well, sometimes science simply doesn’t follow the guidelines of “woke” America...
10/21/2021 by Brandon Puff
LIFE HACK: Assert Your Dominance at the Pool by Pissing in It
When you’re at a public swimming pool, you’re surrounded by savages. Those places are nothing more than a swamp for the wicked and the criminal. They...
10/20/2021 by Caleb Townsend
The Spartan Mindset: A Mental Guide to Prepare for Your Walmart Greeting Shift
At one point in history, the Spartans were an army of men that embodied masculinity in its peak form. Ferocious, dominant, and built-in a singular me...
10/19/2021 by Brandon Puff
OPINION: My Wife Would Never Cheat On Me Because I’m Not Married and Have No Plans to Be
Men have it right now in the dating world. Most of the ladies out there are insane and, oftentimes, if you do find a woman worth marrying, you’ll com...
10/15/2021 by Fred Nelson
LGBT Icon? This Man Watches Lesbian Porn
TOLEDO, OHIO – To the untrained eye, Ben Campbell may seem like your average 28-year old paralegal. But do some deeper digging and you will find that...
10/13/2021 by Dave Ruff
What Your Punisher Sticker Says About You
American Flag With Cool Terminator Eyes: Strong & Independent You’re a real man’s man. You can change a tire and assume anyone wearing skinny...
10/11/2021 by Caleb Townsend
Home Decor: How to Decorate Your Studio Apartment With Just a Samurai Sword
If you’re anything like me, you live in a barren apartment with no decor. A quick look into my living room will paint a very clear picture; 2 chairs ...
10/3/2021 by Editorial Staff
Put ‘Writer’ in Your Tinder Bio: and Other Great Writing Tips
If you’ve ever written anything, you’ll know that there’s nothing more satisfying than being able to express yourself with the incredible tools devel...
9/30/2021 by Brandon Puff
OPINION: Having The Faces On Mount Rushmore So Close Together Is Gay
It’s no secret that the arts and architecture are filled with homoerotic propaganda. But nowhere else is it more apparent than in the monument known ...
9/27/2021 by Fred Nelson
Getting a Divorce and Other Ways I’m Exactly Like Elon Musk
The minute I saw the story that cold-hearted skeleton woman, Grimes, and our sweet prince, Elon Musk, were taking a one-way train to splitsville, I i...
9/11/2021 by Fred Nelson
4 Best 9/11 Costumes
Did you put off buying your 9/11 costume until the last minute like you end up doing every year? Afraid you’ll get made fun of when you’re the only o...
9/8/2021 by David Trajanoski
11 Ways To Do Chores That Ensure You’re Never Asked Again
1. Bring up the fact that your ex always used to cook for you. She’ll appreciate the comparison. 2. Always have diarrhea so there’s never a good tim...
8/25/2021 by Erwin Feinberg
Top 5 Reasons She’s Not Coming Back
Hey there buddy. I know it’s been a rough few years since Cheryl left you and took your box set of LOST. Those are hard to come by now. But we here a...
8/13/2021 by Caleb Townsend
Confession: I Only Date Men Who Can Explain Math Rock to Me
They say condescension is an aphrodisiac. I can’t say I disagree. Let me paint you a picture. I have been on a lot of dates with men and ever since...
8/7/2021 by Brandon Puff
The Wild Man’s Guide To Starting A Fire With Help From Your Dad
Nature is a creature with fangs of ice and eyes of death. One wrong move and you will find yourself impaled on a tree or stabbed to death by a gang o...
7/29/2021 by Brian Beuche
Treat Others The Way You Want to Be Treated! That’s Why I Send Nudes To Everyone In My Contacts
I come from a good family. They raised me right. They always said ‘Son, you gotta make sure you treat everybody the way you want to be treated. You w...
7/28/2021 by Brandon Puff
How To Decide Which Movie Character To Base Your Personality On
So, you’re finally growing up, and aren’t sure what type of person you want to be as you step into adulthood. Well, the truth is that growing, as a ...
7/26/2021 by Brandon Puff
How To Be Confident Enough To Approach Women And Make Them Feel Uncomfortable
Talking to women is a lot like getting invasive spinal surgery. It’s gonna take some discomfort before all is said and done. You will not be the one ...
7/20/2021 by Caleb Townsend
5 Feminist Movies to Watch With Your Girlfriend That Are Actually Pretty Hot
It’s that dreaded time of the month! Haha, no, not your girlfriend’s period. No, this is much worse. It’s that time when you have to watch a “feminis...
7/15/2021 by Nathan Kamal
Game-Changer? New Company Will Hire Large Men to Beat Up Your Dad
Wow, looks like there’s a new disruptor on the scene! True geniuses know every marketplace has niches, and every niche is just a demand waiting to be...
7/7/2021 by Brandon Puff
My Girlfriend Is On Her Period So I’m Writing This Article Until It’s Over
What a great time to write this article. Look, between you and me, I just need to get away from my old lady friend until she’s done acting like a mon...
7/3/2021 by Brandon Puff
What Women Want: Guest Article Written by a Man
Hey there fellas! Does your brain hurt when you try to understand the inner workings of the female mind? Well, have no fear. I’m a man and I know al...
6/30/2021 by Kai Nelson
Wow: Bear Grylls Shares the Innovative Workout That Helps Him Lie About Being Alone in the Wilderness
Though he makes it seem easy, it takes a lot of hard work and preparation to earn the title “Wilderness Expert”. That is until profoundly dishonest W...
6/26/2021 by Kevin Ralston
“I TOTALLY Banged This Dude’s Mom Last Night,” Cool Dad Tells Son’s Friends
It’s been thoroughly established that when two people make love to each other, it’s an awesome thing. However, if these people are your parents, and ...
6/15/2021 by Brandon Puff
If I Were Jesus, The Romans WOULD NOT Have Crucified Me
Jesus Christ is quite possibly the most famous person in the history of the world (besides Donald Trump and Steven Seagal). In my opinion, however, h...
6/12/2021 by Brian Beuche
How to Be The Alpha On This YouTube Comment Thread
YouTube comments are a bloodbath. They are a modern form of trench warfare. You scroll down on any video, no matter how innocent, and you’re gonna se...
6/4/2021 by Janice Peabody
6 Hacks for Giving Your Bedroom a Homey Touch Without Spending Big on a Bed Frame
Ditch the Books Books? Who needs ‘em!!! Replace all other reading material on your shelf with your unread copy of Infinite Jest, Men’s Health maga...
6/3/2021 by Kai Nelson
5 Colors You Can Call that Shirt Your Mom Got You That Aren’t “Pink”
1. Blue This one’s easy. Just say it’s blue, and gaslight anyone who questions you, saying stuff like “what’s pink?”, or “this is blue for sure, ...
6/1/2021 by Brandon Puff
Punching Holes in Walls: The Healthier Alternative To Crying
Let me paint a picture for you: It’s been a stressful week. Your boss won’t stop harassing you, there’s been a death in your family, and your partner...
5/31/2021 by Brian Beuche
Die-Hard Hockey Fan Actually Plays Hockey for the First Time
Applebee’s waiter and self-proclaimed hockey fanatic Calvin Bloch finally, actually, played a game of ice hockey for the first time Thursday night at...
5/28/2021 by Fred Nelson
Five Wolf of Wall Street Quotes Guaranteed to Get You Laid
Ahh, The Wolf of Wall Street , the greatest movie since Scarface . Just like Scarface, this movie features a protagonist that you should aspire to ...
5/24/2021 by Janice Peabody
From Incel to Excel: How I Landed an HR Job at My Local Women’s Shoe Outlet
I’m surprised the place was functioning without me, a hot-blooded male who lied about being able to lift 50 pounds on the application questionnaire. ...
5/19/2021 by Caleb Townsend
The 6 Best IPAs to Make You Not Care if She Cums
IPAs are a beer that shows that you know about beer. Despite being made in India, IPAs manage to go toe-to-toe with the best American beers and offer...
5/14/2021 by Janie Danger
How to Get Your Sleep Paralysis Demon to Sleep With You
Sleep paralysis is the inability to move or speak when either falling asleep or waking up. It is often accompanied by a formless, ominous presence, w...
5/13/2021 by Caleb Townsend
Disgusting: Brave Patriot Surgeon Fired After Refusing to Wear Mask During Operation
Time to bow down to your corporate overlords! A local government-funded hospital has just fired a surgeon after refusing to wear a mask during the op...
5/12/2021 by Erwin Feinberg
23 Less Gay Ways to Say “I Genuinely Care About Our Friendship, Dude”
“You’re like Mark Wahlberg and I’m like Donnie Wahlberg!” “You fucking pussy, come here and give me a hug!” “If anyone tries to fuck your sister,...
5/11/2021 by Fred Nelson
4 STDs That’ll Prove You Had Sex
Do your friends still not believe that you’ve ever had sex, no matter how many stories you tell them about threesomes with supermodels? Well, we at M...
5/10/2021 by Caleb Townsend
Getting Back to Normal: 6 Things to Yell at Random Women Once Masks Are Gone
Masks. They were cool when Slipknot wore them, but now they trigger an unhinged fury in your psyche. Masks are a blessing and a curse. On one hand, t...