5 Alvin And The Chipmunks Songs To Get Her In The Mood
5/17/2022 by Caleb Townsend
Music is natures aphrodisiac. I heard that once in a Blondie cartoon strip. But it’s true. If you’re trying to get to know a woman “biblically”, there’s nothing better than blasting some smooth, sexy music.
Some people prefer a dirty stinkin’ sax, while others like soft jazz. I prefer Alvin and the Chipmunks. For decades, those three adorable miscreants have touched our hearts, and a few other body parts, with luscious love songs that make you want to thrust.
If you’re looking to take your friendship to the next level, here are 5 songs from America’s favorite anthropomorphized rodents that will make your lady “friend” want to rip off your clothes with her teeth.
Lady Gaga paved the way to superstardom with her hit song Bad Romance. Knock that pitch up a few octaves? Boner town. Bad Romance is already a great song, but there’s something about hearing Justin Long’s voice sped up that kicks it into the next gear.
The shrill notes are like the screams of orgasm. The thumping bass is like the rhythmic pumps of your pelvis as you make sweet love. Put them together and you’ll have your woman screaming ALLLLLVIIIIINNN in no time.
The Witch Doctor
OH EE OH AH AH TING TANG WALLA WALLA BING BANG. No, that wasn’t written by Shakespeare or Michael Bolton. Those sexy, sultry words were penned by David Seville in 1958, and since then, the world has never recovered. Whether you’re making a baby or trying to have the night of your life, these words will guide you into an eruption of passion in two minutes or less.
That One Christmas Song They Did
Is there any time sexier than Christmas? Old men with beards, short people making toys, and that one time Katy Perry dressed as a sexy Santa. Nothing captures these raw hormones quite like the classic Christmas novelty song the Chipmunks laid down back in the 60s.
Boomers love to pretend they conceived their kids to the likes of Jimmi Hendricks or Janis Joplin, but we know the truth.
This one gets me rock solid just thinking about it. The second Alvin hits those tantalizing notes on the titular harmonica, sparks fly. Alvin’s Harmonica is scientifically proven to not only get women horny, but to make women think they find you attractive. Pro-tip: the next time you’re at the club and can’t find your groove to Despecit (which the Chipmunks also did), slip the DJ a $20 and you’re sure to get laid.
How do you know you’ve found “the one?” That special woman you can commit your life to? Well, I’m no Love Doctor, but if you find a woman who starts playing with your one-eyed monster while David Cross is screaming at the chipmunks about their recording deal, she's a keeper.
Turning the movie on during sex will not only potentially enhance the situation; it will help weed out the women who are playing with your heart, leaving you with a beautiful girl who can capture it.