5 Andrew Tate Quotes Guaranteed To Get You Out Of Jury Duty

9/7/2022 by Caleb Townsend

So, you've got Jury Duty, huh? I've had Jury Duty a few times in my day. Luckily, I've always known how to get out of it. There are specific things during the jury questioning process that can get you excused from a criminal case.

Some people try to make the case that they cannot maintain objectivity. Others will excessively demonstrate undesirable qualities, like playing too smart, or too dumb. Me? I've memorized a bunch of actual Andrew Tate quotes that will not only guarantee you get out of jury duty before the day is over, but probably disqualify you from even being asked again.

Quote #1

You can say, ‘my life is less fun, but I still don’t drink alcohol.’ That’s fine, I accept that. But to sit there and say, ‘Oh, I don’t need to drink, I have fun without drinking.’ Then you’re a f*cking liar. Every time I meet one of these people who has fun without drinking, I think ‘f*cking hell, I need to hang around with this person.’ This person has fun without drinking. They’re permanently drunk. They must be hyper in their minds. They must be supercharged. And they’re permanently ready to do some f*cking crazy adventure and wake up the next day in another country with no clothes on. This person must be amazing. But instead of being amazing… They’re just boring f*cks who don’t know what fun is.”

This one is perfect if your case is a drunk driving incident. I busted this one out 4 weeks ago in that exact scenario. Unfortunately, I only got the "permanently drunk" before being immediately escorted out. I already had the rest of the day off, so I got drunk at the pavilion across the street. I plead the fifth of vodka, dare me to drive?

Quote #2

“When you’re saying ‘I’m a vegetarian or a vegan’, you’re saying ‘I deny reality, I deny one of the most basic fundamentals of reality’ which is for something to live, something else must die.”

I know what you're thinking: eating meat isn't illegal. Well, it is if it's cannibalism. Luckily, there's a Tate quote for that, and what a delicious quote it is. Bust this one out next time you're in an Issei Sagawa or Armie Hammer situation. You'll soon have the judge banging HIS hammer and asking you to take your leave, or whatever judges say.

Quote #3

“I do know how to administer CPR. However, I will not administer CPR unless you’re a hot female… If you’re some fat dude and you just had a heart attack and I don’t really know you, you’re gonna die… No, not even if you’re a friend… If you’re my friend, you just can’t be a p*ssy. ‘Well, I had a heart attack’, get the f*ck up. F*cks wrong with you. Go hospital later. Have a drink, cigarette, cup of coffee, back in the game. F*cking having heart attacks near me, you little p*ssy.”

This, obviously, is perfect for any scenario in which someone was drowned. Could be manslaughter, or a Casey Anthony-type scenario - doesn't matter. Imply people who drowned are pussies and the judge will have your testimony struck from the record faster than you can paddle!

Quote #4

“I realised yesterday that I can actually, genuinely, right now nothing is stopping me from becoming Batman. Nothing. I have a bat cave. I have an Alfred. I have a Batmobile, a Bugatti. I can fight. Rich as f*ck… I’m charismatic. There is nothing stopping me putting on a suit and being Batman.”

I'm gonna be honest, you can pretty much use this one anytime, anywhere. You don't ever have to be in a courtroom. This will get you out of nearly any event that you'd rather not go to, whether you're asked to speak at a funeral or give a presentation at work. In court, this will give all the jurors permission to treat you as hostile. Judges say that..right? I think I heard that on an episode of Night Court once.

Quote #5

“I was getting on a plane and I could see through the cockpit that a female was the pilot and I took a picture and I said, ‘most women I know can’t even park a car, why is a woman flying my plane?’ and they banned me.”

I dare them to try and call me for jury duty. I've been sitting on this one for a while now, and I frankly can't wait to bust it out the next time they need me to serve on a jury. If you can end it with, "no further questions, your honor," even though you haven't gotten into the court room yet, they'll probably put you on the jury duty equivalent of a do not call list. I can't wait.