What Your Punisher Sticker Says About You

10/13/2021 by Dave Ruff

American Flag With Cool Terminator Eyes: Strong & Independent 

You’re a real man’s man. You can change a tire and assume anyone wearing skinny jeans can’t, and that gets your dick rock fucking hard. You work with your hands, but not in a union because workers’ rights are for pussies. You’re not afraid to spend Thanksgiving alone just because you weren’t invited again. You’re a lone wolf who handles his own microwave dinner.

Smoky American Flag With One Green Eye & One Red Eye: Social Butterfly

You thrive at the bar area with everyone else in the bowling league. You have your Tim Allen impression down nearly perfect and after a couple of ice-cold beers, you got the whole group in stitches. And the Rodney Dangerfield closer always kills. 

It’s totally normal that you fall asleep with a loading gun in your mouth.

Blue Lives Matter: Disciplined & Generous

You wear your matching Blue Live Matter shirt to the gym daily. Not the same one either, you have dozens. You lift heavy and grunt loudly. The steroid and testosterone make your arms look shredded and bulky. And you always ask those pussies wearing a mask if they have a matching skirt.

Frost Camo With Cool Terminator Eyes: Warm & Artistic

Camping is your life ever since Debra left with the kids. Now you eat what you hunt and poop just outside the perimeters of the makeshift tent you call your house.

But you’re not a lone wolf. The park ranger that checks on you once a week is always happy to see you and your whittled caricature of him is getting better each time.

Steel Plated American Flag: Mysterious & Aloof

You like to keep your emotions to yourself. You accept how people see you and move on without a fuss. Some would call you an asshole but you’re really just shy. Your HVAC company has been doing a lot better ever since you stopped personally going to give estimates and left it to Dan.

You’re most likely a Sigma.

Fire!: Organized & Driven

Your bug-out bag is ready and waiting at all times! You got your Springfield Armory M6 Scout, AR-15 16” Carbine which you’ve lovely named Debora after your mother. (The only woman you’ll ever love), Glock 19 Gen 4, Taurus .45 Colt, 2,500 extra miscellaneous rounds, mini shovel, axe, multi-tool, your Rambo knife replica which you have also lovely named Debora, and pepper spray. No canteen? Fuck that! Water is for pussies.

Trump’s America: You’re A Loud & Proud Cuck

You’re a man that doesn’t feel good enough for his woman. But, as a boomer, you know that anything you say is correct. No liberal snowflake is going to tell you that you matter. Your fetishes and ego fully collide when you see an absolutely not your penis go into the mother of your three horrible children.