Slightly Poor Weather Leaves Thousands Of Wimps Stuck Indoors

8/25/2022 by Brandon Puff

Weather report! Weather report! Weather report! 

Guess what? The weather is slightly bad right now so a bunch of noodle bone wimps are stuck inside. I guess that’s good news for them. Now they can watch a bunch of anime and play video games while the real men put their big boy waterproof socks on one foot at a time the way God intended. While us real men are going outside to mud wrestle, the nerds can shut their doors and have a pleasant evening inside. 

Do you think rain stopped my father from going outside and killing his German neighbors? It didn’t - which is why he’s now sitting inside a federal prison. Do you think a cold breeze stopped Henry Ford from building the first automobile? I don’t know enough about history to answer that but I assume it didn’t stop him because we have cars. But you know what else we have? Feet. And those feet can take us anywhere regardless of rain or shine. So stay inside dorks. 

While you’re tucked underneath a warm blanket, sipping on some hot chocolate and petting your cute little dog - I’m going to be on the mountain trail, getting battered with rain, freezing and shivering from the cold, and falling over in the mud. That’s my life, I live it regardless of the weather, so please nerds, stay indoors all cozy and comfortable while the rest of us suffer like we’re supposed to.