23 Less Gay Ways to Say “I Genuinely Care About Our Friendship, Dude”

  “You’re like Mark Wahlberg and I’m like Donnie Wahlberg!”

“You fucking pussy, come here and give me a hug!”

“If anyone tries to fuck your sister, I’ll fucking kill them!”

 ” You can have my sloppy seconds’ bro!”

“I wanna go to ‘Dega with you!”

“When the globalists come, and they will, you and me are gonna smoke their shit-lib asses!”

“I won’t smoke this shatter without you don’t worry!”

“You’re like Mark Wahlberg and I’m like Ted!”

“I was gonna hit that but she’s all yours, that vag stanks!”

“You made that cashier your bitch!”

“This guy right here is the king of the boof!”

“Dude I got you outta there before that chick’s boyfriend beat the shit out of you!”

“Quit calling me, shit’s gay, just come over!”

“It’s awesome how you can recite that entire Chris Rock stand-up special!”

“You’re so fucking gay, seriously I just want to meet your parents!”

“You made that waitress your bitch!”

“Man, you gotta stop shitting at my place dude, I mean it’s fine I don’t care, but Jesus Christ!”

“You’re like Mark Wahlberg and I’m like Will Ferrell in The Other Guys!”

” I’d let YOU dutch oven me, but then I’d beat the fuck out of you!”

“You’re so fucking gay, I just wanna try docking!”

“You made that bitch your bitch!”

“Fuck me you homo!”