Innovative Cultural Critic Concludes that Die Hard is a Christmas Movie
12/22/2022 by Elyza Halpern
Redditor and self-proclaimed “evolved intellectual film analyst” u/moviepimpboss8008S, (also known as “USER BLOCKED” in the comments section of any Deadline Hollywood article about a female director) published his latest piece of insightful cultural criticism last Sunday.
“My fellow scholars of the cinematic craft,” he prefaced the post. “I have once again reached an epiphany about a classic film that the small-brained normies of Letterboxd could never even fathom- and I’m not just saying that because Letterboxd banned me after I left a review asserting that any children who liked Minions movie deserve to be hunted for sport.”
“Anyway,” u/moviepimpboss8008S continued, “the other day I rewatched the 1988 Action/Thriller Die Hard, and as I finished cyberbullying teenagers in the YouTube comments section of the Barbie movie trailer, I realized that--and my apologies if my genius IQ isn’t translating this well for the more feeble-minded--Die Hard, may in fact be a symbolic vehicle for the celebration of the birth of Christ.”
“So it’s a Christmas movie?” commented another Reddit user, to which u/moviepimpboss8008S responded by doxxing said user and registering him for the draft.