Millennial Barbie Fears She May Never Be Able to Buy Dream House

9/23/2021 by Shane O'Connor

Malibu, CA – Man Facts was granted an exclusive interview with Millennial Barbie to learn more about her financial trials and tribulations. Over the course of interviewing and spending time with her, Man Facts sat in on a meeting between Millennial Barbie and her business manager. What follows is a lightly edited recap of that enlightening meeting.

As her business manager droned on, a frown became fixed on Millennial Barbie’s spotless face. “Listen Barbie, with your current spending habits, it will be a long, long time before you are able to put a down payment on your Dream House – forget the pool, slide, elevator, lights and sounds, you’ll be lucky to afford the Barbie Dream Trailer in 10 years.” 

Millennial Barbie shook her head as she held the printouts of her bank statements, “But what if I find the right Ken and we have dual incomes? Would we be able to afford the Dream House then?”

An incredulous look sprung up on her business manager’s face, “Are you kidding me? Have you met a Ken these days? They spend like it’s all Monopoly Money. Cut out the frivolous expenditures, start saving and get a job for Pete’s sake!”

Millennial Barbie winced at the thought of not being able to buy a new Barbie Beach Cruiser or Barbie Dolphin Magic Ocean View Boat. No more weekend trips in the Barbie Dreamplane. The 60 plus pieces in the Barbie Dream Closet would have to head to a consignment store. Barbie sighed, there were some dark days ahead if she wanted to get the Barbie Dream House. Tears welled up in her eyes as she lamented, “Why can’t I be rich like Pediatrician Barbie or Generational Wealth Barbie?”