Petco Receives Backlash For Grooming Allegations

San Diego, CA (Man Facts) – A concentrated group of patriots are heading to San Diego today to protest Petco for their alleged grooming. The company, primarily known for its pet supplies, services, and small animals, is accused of grooming a variety of canines and pooches in what could be the biggest grooming scandal since Tuesday. 

“First they started in schools, teaching kids how to be sissy maids and mommy milkers,” says protestor Billy. “Now they’re targeting the most vulnerable population of all: heckin’ woofers.” 

The allegations arose when life-long republican Jimmy Peter caught wind of suspicious activity after extensive research. 

“I typed “Petco Grooming” into Google and my jaw nearly hit the floor,” Jimmy said. “At the top of the page, as clear as day, it says Petco Grooming Near You. The sickos aren’t even hiding it. Sure enough, no matter where I went, all across America, there were Petcos offering “grooming services” to pedophile elites willing to pay. It’s absolutely disgusting.” 

Petco responded with a press release, pointing out that grooming, in this context, means offering bathroom and haircut services to dogs. 

“Sure, that’s what they want you to think,” says Jimmy. “But we know that’s code for something far more sinister. I always knew we’d move from children to dogs, and this proves my point.”