Send Me Your Social Security Number – And Other Tips For Becoming An Alpha Male

If there’s one thing we know in life, it’s that Betas fail and Alphas (as well as the rare Sigma) always prevail. But how does a puny little Beta achieve Alpha-male status? This question is as old as time. Fortunately for you, we here at ManFacts have assembled a list of tricks to help you go from bottom feeder to… whatever the opposite of a bottom feeder is.

Send Me Your Social Security Number

First and foremost, anyone who’s serious about being a true Alpha should definitely send over those good old nine digits. Why, you may ask? Real Alphas don’t hide things from the public. That’s a Beta move. True Alphas show off the social security numbers that God gave them without a hint of shame.

Tell Me Your Mother’s Maiden Name

Though it is true that respecting women is USUALLY a Beta move, real Alphas treat their mothers like a samurai sword, hung proudly above a mattress in a studio apartment. This is why it’s absolutely essential that you tell me the maiden name of the woman that granted you life. Yell it with pride on roof top! Just not too loud, I don’t want anyone to beat me to…uhhhh…appreciating your newfound alpha status.

Add This Chrome Plugin

Everybody knows that Alphas are men of technology and robots, like Elon Musk. In order to achieve full technological dominance, you must add this plugin to your Google Chrome Browser. What does the plugin do? It doesn’t matter. All that matters is that girls will be biologically unable to resist you once you ascend to Alpha status.

Click This Link

Don’t think. Thinking’s for Betas. Just click the link before my boss gets mad at me.

Go To The Closest CVS And Make A MoneyGram Payment To This Address In The Philippines

Are you really gonna ask me why you need to do this? Really? Asking questions? Sounds pretty Beta to me.