BREAKING: Federal Judge Orders Trump Do Some Nonsense Yada Yada January 6 Whatever

5/3/2022 by Brian Beuche

A Federal Judge on Sunday ordered former President, Donald Trump, to do some new thing about the January 6 investigation or something. This comes on the heels of the January 6 committee doing some other stuff that probably has some effect on someone somewhere.

“I know we’ve made the President do a lot of things over the last few months, but trust us, this thing is gonna be the thing that does it,” said the judge, whoever he is.

Some call into question whether or not this judge has the power to do this new thing. The former President’s legal team, PR team, family, or whoever else has condemned the thing this judge wants. 

"This thing is obviously a thing that can’t be done. Never in the history of this country has a thing like this ever been done!," said Steven Munchkin, or whatever his name is.

But others feel confident that this thing is perfectly legal.

“We are going to exercise the seventeenth amendment to the fullest power, using the Miranda rights given by the people, to arm the American people with knowledge and information and make sure we do this thing,” said some Representative from Mississippi you've never heard of.

With this new thing being done, the former President now has some random number of days to comply with the order that he hand over documents stating that he may or may not have been somewhere near January 6 and that he may or may not have organized a team to create a purpose that corroborated the insurrection. And also there’s something in there about Russia.

When pressed for comment, the reactions among those close to the investigation were mixed.

“Well I think we should investigate the attack, but I think we should also investigate why New York bagels are just so good!” said former Presidential and New York City mayoral candidate Andrew Yang.

“I am in support of doing the thing, but I prefer to call it ‘The Mr. Donald Trump does no good investigation’,” said House Speaker Nancy Pelosi before putting on a durag and declaring racism over.

“Did you know January 6 is my birthday?!?” said Eric Trump, oblivious to the fact that no one cares.

ManFacts sources have confirmed that whether or not the President does the thing the judge wants from him, the January 6 committee will continue to do some other stuff that will cause more things to happen