PornHub Bans Critical Race Theory From Schoolgirl Category

3/8/2022 by Jimmy Pitts

SILICONE VALLEY – Online pornography purveyor PornHub has made clear its position on Critical Race Theory, banning the curriculum entirely from their Schoolgirl Category.

“The last thing we want to explain to the MILFs and DILFs of barely legal schoolgirls is their nubile daughters had to stay after class for racism against whites,” said PornHub official Gianna Jayden. “We want parents to feel safe knowing that their precious PAWGs are making up for their bad grades on their knees without a liberal agenda shoved down their throats.” 

The schoolgirls of PornHub tend to see the massively divisive issue as double-sided. 

“In a few years, I’ll graduate from the schoolgirl category and have to get a real job as a naughty nurse or a lonely realtor,” said student Amanda Bangs. “So, I want to make sure I don’t have any gaping holes in my POV of interracial experiences.” Added Bangs, “If I have to take BBC as part of the curriculum, I see no reason why I shouldn’t take CRT.”  

PornHub doesn’t see how Critical Race Theory could fit into the girls’ already tight schedules and heavy workloads. “Look, these girls already have so much detention,” lamented Jayden. “The grind is hard enough without adding guilt over this white stuff. To quote the great MLK Jr., I also have a dream. I dream that we just forget about racism so everyone can come together.”