Case Closed? This Mom Thinks The Zodiac Killer Might Be A Black Kid That Hangs Out Near Her Local Walmart

A local woman and concerned mother has come forward with breathtaking allegations that a black teenager who always hangs out in front of her local Walmart may in fact be the Zodiac Killer. The woman who we shall refer to as Barbara, came forward with the theory after she was made slightly uncomfortable seeing the black teen standing in front of the store simply existing.

“Who does that? Who stands in front of a store like that every single day? I mean, I go to the store every day but I’m not standing out there menacingly. I have children, I’m concerned about my kids. I’m certain that this adolescent isn’t as guilty as he looks, he’s more guilty. He’s the Zodiac Killer and my expertise as a worried mother is all I need to know I’m correct.”

A security guard for this particular Walmart had his own theory as to the true identity of the black teen.

“Marcus isn’t the Zodiac Killer but if he was I sure as hell hope he would go about murdering that white lady. She is always filing complaints to me about teenagers that scare her ever so slightly and she always comes up with a new excuse as to why I should do something about it. If the Zodiac Killer is here at this Walmart then that dumb white lady would be the last person to find out. Unless of course I was the Zodiac Killer, in which case I would kill her the next time she brought a complaint to me.”

Forensic evidence thus far has concluded that the Zodiac Killer is in fact a middle aged white man who died long ago. But concerned mothers everywhere are sure to never rest as long as there black teens standing non-menacingly in public areas.